Fear is a familiar friend,
it sucks my life without end.
Fear of what I don’t always know,
it’s always there, a common foe.
As I write these words I have my doubts.
Don’t write, it’s crap. Will fear win out?
Is fear my excuse or why I fail
or why I don’t make the attempt and chase my tail?
Everyone gets scared at times, of this I’m fairly certain,
but the ones who win the game are those who show fear a hurtin!
Awhile back I wrote a post about my Nagging Omission with my husband. Well recently I pulled off that bandage, faced my fear and went all in with a quick rip. First I showed my blog to my husband, letting him read several of the stories. And then I emailed most of my family about my writing and gave them a link to my site.
The good news is my world did not crash in, my husband didn’t ask for a divorce and now knows I do not have an internet lover. I haven’t had any irate calls from family or friends, yet. My husband has shown a tentative curiosity about what I’ve been writing and said he admired my ability to express myself and tell a story, but at first didn’t realize that my blog was open to anyone to see. That part I don’t think he is completely comfortable with and has some fears of his own that we will have to work through.
The only other person to comment about my blog has been my dad(technically my step-dad to those who read my blog and are confused) and he commented on a few of the posts and recited a couple of the poems he has written that are very good. He has one about fishing that is amazing and he has sold some copies of it, but he recited two others I didn’t remember. Maybe we will write a father-daughter poetry book some day.
But now that my husband and my family are aware of this blog and some of my writing; I find that a different type of fear is at work now; I am self-censoring and self-conscience about what I am writing. Because if there are any people I “people-please” for its these people. This is going to be tough!
Do you share your writing with your friends and family? Is there anything you keep just for your self for just this reason?
As a writer of memoirs, I spend a lot of time wrestling with the question of how much to say about my family and friends (and myself). I want to be truthful (and funny), but I don’t want to hurt anyone. It can be a little tricky. Having a small group of beta-readers that includes family members and close friends is a helpful way to test whether I’ve gone too far.